Oblivion
by ichirukifan101
Summary: Shunsui had died in the Winter War. He had been killed. Killed. Killed by her hand. Her blade. Her kido. Shunsui was dead. She just didn't want to admit it.


**Author's Note: Well, hi. This is my first fanfiction, so reviews would be greatly appreciated. And yes, if it sucks, just tell me so. Please. And please, don't get the wrong idea about me from this fanfic! I adore Shunsui x Nanao…But…I ended up writing this terrible angst-riddled story instead. Yeah, I know. But seriously, I am in no way against Shunsui x Nanao! Just sayin'. **

**Oh! Also, if I end up forgetting to put something before/after/within this fanfic, can one of you guys point it out? Once again, first fic, no clue what I'm really supposed to do.**

**And yes, I realize that it's probably incredibly unlikely, no, impossible, for Nanao to actually beat Shunsui in a fight. Just go along with it, will you? It's needed for the story.**

**And I don't really know what that black coffin spell is called. Just sayin'.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. *sighs heavily***

**Enjoy!~**

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><p>Nanao sobbed. Curled into a ball, elbows on her knees, she sobbed quietly into her hands, muttering all the way, through her tears, "Shunsui…Shunsui…Shunsui…" over and over again, with a moan of agony. Watching the memory of his death replay over and over again, out in her head. She wanted to die.<p>

Because, he was dead. Killed. Killed by her blade. Killed by her lightening-fast kido. Killed by her. Just because she was stupid enough to think that Shunsui had been Aizen at the time. And because she wasn't smart enough, wasn't good enough to stay away from Aizen's dangerous illusions, too weak to fight back, he was dead.

She remembered that fight, every last bit of it. She saw Aizen, just standing there with a smirk on his face, watching the ongoing battles with interest, as he watched countless shinigami and hollows alike die, their remains splattered all over the sidewalks and streets of the fake Karakura town. So, blinded by rage, blinded by the hatred she felt for him, enraged at all of the pain that one man had caused to the most important people in her life: she attacked. And he had retaliated.

It had been a hard battle, for using both her kido and her zanpakutou, even both together, she couldn't land a hit on him. She should have known it wouldn't be that easy. Of course it wouldn't be easy to defeat Aizen, who had single-handed stopped a captain-level bankai with one finger! But it's hard to be logical when you're seeing things through a haze of red.

And finally, in a cheap shot, she got him. Was able to confuse him and maneuver well enough to cast the inescapable black box spell. And, once it was complete, it closed in on him. No one could live through that. No one. And he proved no exception. Except, as the box collapsed, and as he was thrown out of that box, slash wounds, some most certainly fatal, littered across his body, she didn't see Aizen, the man who had caused all this pain and suffering. She saw Shunsui Kyoraku, her taicho, the man she _loved_, lying in front of her. _"Illusion,"_ her mind said, numbly, still in shock, _"he was covered by an illusion"_. Yes, she knew, but that didn't change the inevitable. Shunsui Kyoraku was lying dead at her feet. Dead. And by her hand. Dead. Because of her.

Nanao sobbed, brokenly, into her hands. She didn't open her eyes. Not yet. Not yet. She wasn't ready to face the world just yet…Just a little while longer…

And soon, she felt that she could face the world again. And she opened her eyes, blinking in wonder and amazement. Because _he_ was there, holding her in his arms. Alive and well. No terrible stab wounds across his torso, no bloodied body lying lifeless at her feet. It was him. Him. His hair, that one errant strand that would always be hanging above his eyes. Those eyes, those warm chocolate brown eyes that always held a slight warmth and joy to them. That infuriating smile that he always wore, the one she had come to know and love.

"Nanao-"

That _voice_.

"_Nanao-chan, why are you crying so? Such tears shouldn't be marring my beautiful lieutenant's face!"_

That was what she heard.

And so, with a wavering smile lighting up her face, she slowly stopped crying. And turned her head upwards to look at him.

"Shunsui…Shunsui…you didn't die? I thought I had killed you! You were dead even before I got to you!"

"Nanao-"

"_Why Nanao-chan, how could I even think about leaving my lovely lieutenant, when she hasn't even confessed her love to me yet!"_

That was what she heard.

"Baka…" she muttered, under her breath.

And she was happy. Sitting there in his arms.

But had she looked closer, she would have seen. Seen that slight sadness tinting the smile on the Espada's face. Seen that ragged, black number one tattooed on the Primera's hand. Seen that he was without his flowery pink kimono, only wearing an outfit of pure, spotless white. Noticed that only one sheathed sword hung from his waist. Not two. Seen that, instead of those deep, chocolate brown eyes that she so loved, there were blue-gray ones in their place. Had she looked around her, she would have seen, not the homey, paperwork-cluttered desks of Eighth, but the cold, unfeeling whitewashed walls of Las Noches.

But she didn't see. Didn't fully open her eyes, truly see what was around her through a clear mind, without the veil covering her eyes. Didn't accept the fact that Shunsui was dead, and would never come back. She couldn't. She wouldn't. She didn't want to.

And, as Starrk held her in his arms, as the Primera Espada smiled down at her, sadness evident in his eyes, as she only saw the man she loved in the Espada's face, Nanao was happy.

Living in oblivion.

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><p><strong>A.N: man, that was really angsty…Now I feel bad…Once again, any reviews are greatly appreciated!<strong>


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